My Big Girl Panties Fit

I am public transportation's worst nightmare. On day one in the city by myself I decided to attack buses and stuff all by my lonesome. My goal was Target -- fitting isn't it. The "easiest" one to get to was 13.6 miles away. Doesn't sound bad at all, but wait for it. I realize I need to walk to the correct bus stop, ride that bus, walk to the Bart, ride that for a while, then walk the remaining 1 mile to the store. I confidently walk to the bus stop. Get skipped by the right bus then hop on the wrong bus, but navigate a way to the Civic Center nonetheless *with the help of a nice lady. [This is where the nightmare part comes in. I am that person who stands at the door asking the driver if they go to a certain place, probably pronounced wrong, and then proceed to fumble putting my money in the machine, despite what the driver says, since let's be real -- I don't know anything at this point, and almost take out the elderly in the front few seats as the bus speeds off.]
So long story short-ish, I self-diagnose my trip as a victory. I personally think "victory" can be defined as making it to your destination, right?! And that I did. It ended up taking almost an hour and a half and included a text to a couple people declaring that I would most certainly take a $&*&$%$# cab back to the city. After some therapeutic Target shopping I decided to put my big girl panties on, if you will, and ride this whole public transpo thing out. The ride back was better. I was feeling more confident and decided to get off on a different stop and take a different bus route back to the house to try and master another interchange in this city. Moron. If something works, do it. A lot. I get off in the Mission. I need an Owner's Manual for SF since I can't carry Adam around in my pocket. There were people everywhere and I was a smidge frightened. I even saw a syringe and a man's butt (not together, although I am not pointing fingers) when the long sleeve shirt he had tied around him as a skirtpantshort situation went awry. You know those times you wish you had sunglasses so you could stare at people in stealth mode and not be caught. This was not one of those days. I was avoiding eye contact like a champ. No shades even. 1 pm. I am a weenie.

I think my moral is that big girl panties are big for a reason....?....I have no idea.

Oh and speaking of big girls. I got to listen to an elderly gentleman nicely discuss how there are always "dumb kids who don't move to the back of the bus. Kids who went to high school, maybe even college, and can't read or write." Aaaand since there was all of 1 person between the ages of 8 and 40 (yours truly), I am almost certain this kind sir was talking about me.

Dear Old Man,
If I could have moved to the back of the bus and not been mashed against people while tightly smothering my purchases so as not to be mugged, I would have. And I am sorry for ruining your sure to be peaceful and clean ride on the bus. Bite Me.
hugsandkisses,
Lauren
Trinity University '06